Office Birthdays

I don't like celebrating birthdays in the office... I just don't.. Its always an attempt by a few people to help someone (who usually doesn't want to celebrate) make a big day about their bday. The parties are always dull and most of the conversation ends up inevitably steering towards work. When you have a small office (like the one I work in) birthdays are not as frequent as a larger corporation, but I think we make a bigger deal out of them. Office parties always end in disaster...

Alone in the Audit

There's something very creepy about being at the office by yourself after everyone has gone home for the night. Its only happened to me a handful of times, but I still get a little bit paranoid. I always feel as though someone else is with me. Although I'm an adult (and supposed to be mature... although these pictures are almost as good as a 6 year old), I still get that same feeling of when I was left alone at home as a kid. Every creaking sound or rustling in the bushes freaks me out.

After some time, I start to get so riled up that I make myself mad. I am overly determined to beat up whoever is intruding on our office. Soon I find myself skulking around the office. I am in operative mode. I will find whoever or whatever made the noise. Quickly, however, my confidence dwindles as I go from office to office...

 Eventually (like every night) I give in and figure my imagination is getting the better of me. I go home, sleep, come back to work, and redo the whole bit over and over again.

I know this is not much of a post... Ive just been staying later at the office.. by myself... so this is the only thing that distracts me from all the noises. But I guess if I spent less time drawing, and more time working.. I would not have to stay so late... Oh well...

5 hour stomach virus

For those of you who are not familiar with 5 hour energy let me give you a breakdown:

Its an "energy" supplement that is supposed to give you a full days worth of energy. The commercials I have seen show an ordinary businessman waking up at 630AM!!!! (woah! so early). When the sun is just coming up, he then goes downstairs, and instead of making himself a healthy meal, decides to skip it and reaches for a nice bottle of liquid crack. He downs the bottle and, amazingly, is suddenly dressed and ready for his big day (not to mention that promotion!).

My experience started the same. My alarm failed to wake me up so I had to rush out of the house. As I was scrambling to put my clothes on, while simultaneously brush my teeth, I realized "Hey! Why don't I just grab a 5 hour energy! No need for breakfast! Its not like I haven't eaten in 12 hours!"

Ahhh... so refreshing! The day seemed so much more positive already!  Here I come world!

And then it happened... It was a cataclysmic effect inside my bowels. The forces of the evil 5 hour empire had decided to induce an ultimate battle for the governing rule over my lower intestine. My body's defenses scrambled, and in its hastiness decided attempt an expulsion of the viral product in the best way possible; By forcing it out as quickly as possible. Little did my body know that the '5 hour' had other plans.

My stomach began to cramp like a vice. It was twisting like a screw into a board.

The pain was unbearable. I began to sweat and quake. Soon the forces of the krakens evil seed would come spewing forth from my abdomen, unleashing a hell upon my desk of which no one in public accounting has ever witness.

 Oh what dread it would be if I was to unleash this terrible beast in my office... The consequences would be dire!

Suddenly, I awoke, to find myself asleep at my desk... it was afternoon... whats your 2:30 feeling like, you ask? you dare to ask me Mr. "5 hour energy?" Well...its pretty crappy... can I have another?


Unfortunately I just found out I failed the AUD test for the CPA exam... I went on a roller coaster ride of emotions, in which I suffered 2 strokes, one abdominal spasm, three cases of the "woe is me's", and five consecutive counts of blame-o-matic anger displacement syndrome.

It all started when I checked my score...

First, I became sad and reflected on everything bad that my overactive imagination could find to render me useless.

Then I became angry and blamed others...

Then I became hysterical, and was SURE that some dumb intern at the AICPA pushed the wrong button, or pulled a rope, and gave me a 74 in a fit of enraged jealousy.

Then I accepted it.... and now I must re walk the long lonely road that is the Audit test...

Unreliable Office

If you've never worked (or even been) inside of a building that was built during the American revolution, this post may not be for you. Our office is in the dumps, and completely void of anything technologically advanced. And by technologically advanced I mean stuff like doorknobs...

My terrible story started when I went to use one of the stalls in the bathroom. Now once I was finished, I began to exit the stall as one does when they wish to exit any type of enclosed area... by turning the handle. To my surprise the handle fell off.

Now I began to panic. I began to kick the door, jump into it, but gosh darn it... IT WOULDN'T OPEN! I quickly thought about my options. The first option was to yell for help....

Hmmmmm bad idea... I dont really want my boss to remember me as the guy who got stuck in the stall... My next option was to wait until someone came in and help me out... but the problem was what if no one came in... it was friday... I may be stuck here over the weekend! I may have to live off of toilet water! What if I died?!
I didnt want my tombstone to read "The guy who died in the bathroom"... I then had to get down on the floor (which was disgusting) and climb under the stall. It was by far one of the most gross actions I have ever had to take.. But the feeling of freedom was pure ecstasy!

Best part was, two days later, someone else got stuck in the same stall and ALSO climbed under it... Oh I love being an auditor.

Unwanted Advice

For those of you who have studied for the CPA exam, I feel for you. I am currently studying for the exam as well. But have you noticed that the second someones passes the exam they feel as though they have to pretend that those agonizing months of studying were just a breeze?

There is only one response to a jerk like this:

Audit Hours

Ive been working pretty late recently. Normally, I would not mind, but Its frustrating working late while helping someone else finish up their clients.

After you stay past 7pm you can become bitter. I am not one for being able to hold my temper when people start to piss me off. Its funny when the small things start to piss you off. Well... at the time they dont really seem funny, but over the weekend they do.

Tax Season, ugh

Current Mood: Bored
Career Outlook: Looking Good
Job Title: Staff Accountant (2 yr)

Can I just say that taxes are so boring. A problem with my particular firm is that the partner does not let us do any tax interviews. So we are basically just doing data entry based off of the notes that he gives us. It could also be the fact that I really dont like taxes are slept through most of it in college.

Not sure how larger accounting firms are, but at small firms we seem to do a lot of random work. Some days I work on audit, other days I work on tax (during the months of Jan - April). The rest of the year is just pure audit. I'm beginning to miss the audit season a bit. Tax season is pretty nice because I don't have to rush to work (I show up around 830 or so) and then I leave around 5-530. The only person really stressed at this point is (of course) the partner. But I don't think a partner is allowed to NOT be stressed at any point in his/her career. I wonder if its easier to get to partner at a small CPA firm than a medium or larger firm.

CPA Raise

Current Mood: Anxious
Career Outlook: Good
Job Title: Staff Accountant (2 yr)

Ok... I have passed BEC with an 83, FAR with a 79, and I am waiting on AUD scores, and about to take REG in a few weeks. The new AICPA score release system is driving me a little nuts. Its taking them such long time to get the scores out.

I really hope that getting my CPA will improve my career. Many small public accounting firms are not too strict on getting your CPA. Some of them do not even require it to become senior accountant or even audit manager. My firm is pretty relaxed when it comes to the CPA. We get a pretty hefty bonus for passing the exam, but word around the office is that no raises will be given for passing the exam. (The accounting industry gives an avg raise of 10% for passing the exam).

This bums me out a bit... all the hard work and countless hours of sacrifice and studying should warrant that I get a raise. These endless angry nights had better be worth it!

We will see what happens when I finally pass the exam and can call myself a CPA.